How can I pay?

We use PayPal as our payment processor, so we accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover. Or, you can pay using your PayPal balance.

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Is your site secure?

Yes. You pay through PayPal, the world's premier electronic payment solution, not through this site. We never even see your credit card number; PayPal just tells us that you've paid and we ship you your stuff. We get your money through PayPal later.

Do I have to have a PayPal account to buy?

No, you can pay with your credit card without a PayPal account.

How does the shipping work?

If you're local, I can probably deliver it to you! If not, I will have to calculate the shipping based on the weight of the item and your zipcode, and then let you know your final total.

I need like 500 Space Wasp soaps for a wedding, but you only have 6.

Please email me with any special requests, and I'll see what I can do! drcraftenstein@gmail.com

I'm offended.

Feel free to see yourself out, and don't let the lab door hit you in the ass.

Wait -- I meant I'm not offended enough!

Great! We can help! When you place your order, feel free to request a special gift from the "risque" bin, and we'll send Frankenstein into the private stash. I'm not kidding though, don't call me from your fainting couch in a huff, because you asked for it! (This is what we in the "biz" call a Disclaimer.) Otherwise we will include a perfectly safe, family-friendly gift with your order. We aim to please!

I would like to discuss the steady decline of the "Hellraiser" sequels, specifically how terrible and unneccesary the latest remake was.

As would I, my friend. This is indeed fertile ground. For this and any other question or discussion, please email me at drcraftenstein@gmail.com and I will respond as soon as I am able. Note that I might be in the middle of watching "Hellraiser."

Thank you for visiting my laboratory! Please stop by again, and check back soon for new completed experiments!


Dr. Craftenstein